Friday 12 January 2018

A Christmas tail

I came to the realisation this year that I think the Christmas tail was now wagging the dog.  I no longer feel in control of Christmas.  Budgeting is a dim and distant memory; not it is an orgy of excess and some 'responsibility-driven' purchasing.

"Oh we must buy for Aunt Fanny because she will get something for us."

No, no, no, NO!!!

This has to stop and I have made it my resolution this year to not be controlled by the feeling that we need to buy for others.

We have a set of friends that we have an annual Christmas tradition of going on one of the steam trains to see Father Christmas.  I would much rather have an agreement with my friends to do no presents, but instead to create a memory, have an experience.

I have begun to talk about this with some of our friends and so far received universal agreement.  Children seem to get overwhelmed by all the presents they receive these days, and the day can become about opening presents rather than the gift itself.  It takes a lot of work as a parent to restrain a child's exuberance and connect them with the fact somebody has taken the time to get them something.

Inevitably, and through nothing but the best of intentions from friends and family, you are left with a pile of gifts that are not wanted.  Appreciated but not wanted.  They might not fit, or might not last, or simply might not be to somebody's taste.  There is no criticism it is just the way of the world.  I do not want any of my friends to feel they have wasted their money, in the same way that I do not want them feeling like they have to make use of whatever it is we have got them or their children.

So next year I am hoping for a slimmed down Christmas.  It is a cliche but one that I think is particularly important to hold on to:

Rather than presents from people, I want their presence in creating memories together.

Henry will have fewer presents, but hopefully will be able to appreciate them more.  I certainly do not want his idea of Christmas to be one that is represented by a sea of presents.

Wish me luck.

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